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Life Updates 2009

I got a new job where I get paid real money and have real responsibilities. It is actually almost the exact same job I had before only now it is full time I get salary and benefits.

Life pretty much rules on all other fronts as well. Ashlee moves in soon and I cannot wait.

Woogie is cuter than ever.

The End

Life changes

Someone rent my house in Orlando, please!

Hoping to move to Monterey, wish me luck.

Love,

Ciarra

P.S. Who wants to move out there with me if I get this job?!

Hopeful, but Doubtful

I'm not entirely sure why I am posting, force of habit?

My life is in an awkward state. Although I am very aware that many people are much worse off than myself at the moment, I am just really struggling.

When Robby moves out of my house in December, I will not be able to pay my mortgage anymore. I am afraid to live with strangers and the dogs make things complicated (I have Jasmine and Woogie only now). I am trying to fix up the house to rent it, but that might not be able to cover the mortgage, even if I do succeed. I have re-landscaped, re-roofed, re-painted and re-floored but it still isn't enough. I don't have any more money to do things.

I need a full-time job, but I can't move because of the house. Full-time jobs in my field are scant here in the Orlando area. I would really just like to leave. I am too proud to get a part time job here to supplement my measly pay. I know it is stupid and I'm working on it, but it is hard to go apply at target when I'm a news editor/producer with a college degree. I also don't have health insurance, wups.

Beyond that situation, as Robby says, my social life is a catastrophe. When he leaves it will be truly dismal. I enjoy spending time with my two co-workers but we are still in that beginning of friendship phase, not quite to automatic plans or anything like that. Otherwise when Robby leaves I will have a handful of acquaintances, you know, people you hug and smile at but never call, and then Robb and Ashlee. I love them both but I can't rely on people with lives and issues of their own to totally bolster my social and emotional well-being. I have been getting dragged downtown but I don't know why I let that happen. I rarely enjoy myself and I spend too much money. I'm also not enjoying the mental state a certain someone has left me in, and continues to keep me in, which is my fault for allowing it to happen, only making it worse. Again, catastrophe.

And, to top it all off, the Bucs are currently losing to the Broncos, the Rays are losing to the White Sox in game three of their first ever playoff appearance, and the Knights have repeatedly embarrassed me this season, although they did pull off a win against SMU yesterday. It just isn't my sports season...again. At least I adjust well to loss. Going to Miami for the UCF v. UM game next weekend with Jason, his girlfriend and Robb. Staying with Sara. I don't feel confident for a win, but I do feel confident that I miss Sara and I'm glad I'll get to spend a weekend with her - the first since she moved away back in July.

Lastly, I suppose this is for archival purposes since I think it is too personal to discuss in detail, my 16-year-old cousin died a couple of weeks ago. I only had two cousins. I am glad I was able to go up to North Carolina for the funeral but it was hard to handle at times. I wish I had been able to see her more often.
I have been covering my first tropical storm this week. It has been ok but I'm tired and I do dumb things when I'm tired and now I feel like an idiot.

Life update

This is sort of overdue, so here I go.

I broke up with Sean 3 weeks ago.

I am still in Orlando and I still work at WESH.

I still live in my same house, only now I only have 2 dogs (woogie and jasmine)and Robby lives with me. Talk about life coming full circle...

I have been doing lots of projects around the house and keeping busy, but mostly because these things HAD to get done, not because I am weepy or sad.

I need to do lots of things for me, and make some new friends, even though the ones I have are pretty great. I could not have done any of the things I have done over the past weeks without Robb.

I love my job but I don't make enough money, but it could be worse, I could hate my job and still make peanuts. Thanks economy.

I still like Orlando but I am sad because Jason, Chris, Sara, Warren and Carlos moved away. It doesn't feel the same anymore. I helped Robby move out of Beta today and I don't think I'll ever go back.

Ashlee is still here. She has cancer. It is hard sometimes on me, I cannot imagine what it is like for her.

I feel distant and detached. I hope to reconnect, start enjoying life more.

life

I am a pesto making machine. I <3 my Martha Stewart mortar and pestle.

Some things happen in life that change everything, even if they really don't have anything to do with you.

I believe in follow through

www.hardlyrelevant.com
I've been thinking a lot, about the present, about the past, about the future.

As for the past, Sam moved to Orlando and didn't tell me, then he blew me off when we had plans. This makes me nostalgic and sad for times gone by. I have also been playing a lot of scrabble lately.

And the present. I got a job...it only took two months. I work at WESH 2 News and I officially work for a humungoid media empire, awesome.

Finally the future. I feel I don't get enough original thought in my life, I want to start a blog and write about current events. I REALLY need to do that. I also sort of really want to start writing a book, I need to have more faith in myself and I need to learn follow through.



Sigh, I have nothing else to say I guess.
I had never seen A Christmas Story until today. It was boring and sightly racist. I also found out that the kid who got his tongue stuck to the pole was in porn until he recently decided to become a mainstream actor again. It seems this hasnt really worked out for him. That's too bad. I need to find a job. I hate being a statistic. Unemployed college graduate. Liberty Bowl on Saturday!

Another crazy month for travel!

This year has been awesome for travel (in the US). I have gone to Atl a bunch. I went to Asheville over summer to see Ashlee, then DC to see Ali, then Vegas with my fam. I got to go to the NC State game and next week I'm going to Chicago! Then I graduate, then Atlanta for Christmas then I am going to Memphis for the liberty bowl!

Oh yeah, go Knights! C-USA champs! C-USA East Champs for the second time in three years, woo.